its I

me....this is what i am still figuring out because when i got the meaning of being me life put me at the stakes to do something opposite to my wish....

in childhood i used to think that bad people does not exist in this world and life is all about selflessness and caring for others more than anything else which i still feel

but this thinking of mine has dashed on every step of my life which i always try to figure out why.....

my school life was fantastic as my grades and my friends was always higher....i never had any outer life apart of my family and school and my books....like all other girls i was also the die hard movie fan where i used to think life main sab kuch movies jaisa hi hota hain...yeah i laugh on this too now....i hope that time i knew the practicality of life which i still dont know.

i entered in nagpur with same thinking....my new teenage life and my emotional impractical behavior encountered with eachother and made a fog in front of my eyes....which made me judge people in wrong way...i never knew the rituals of people that what they are in front of u the truth comes at back of u...

i used to thought inspite of this that people having bad habits there is always so many good things attched to it....this was my first biggest mistake in knowing the people which drag me towards sorrows......

i always put my self on the second place in my life and put everyone else my first priority...this was the thing where i got completely defeated.....because now sometimes it makes me feel i am standing on the edge of the cliff.......

some people in my life praised me for my behavior but when the time came to stand by me they hesitated saying this is all ur fault and we cant do anything for this....its ur life.......... u have to stand up on ur own.....i still find this funny.....because just saying this lines nothing changes it just shows u a part of life which i never saw before....

in all this ride of life very few people always stood by me in last 4 yrs and first one of them is my mom...yeah she scolds me for changing myself getting failures in studies and me being so idiot but she still somewhere is holding my hand.... in spite this that i never told her why exactly the most obedient and studios girl of hers became unsuccessful in life....i hope someday i will complete her dreams and will tell her what made me change so...

the other person is Ruchita my best friend she is one of those few person who hold me in my failures....frankly i just not only consider her as my best friend...she is my love my family too

exactly 4 yrs ago i met her and frankly i never thought that time this girl can become so important in my life...i talk to her 2-3 hrs on phone sometime but she never sighs neither she scold me for being me....she understands what i want to say if also i am not saying anything to her..i dont know with what kind of things GOD made her...but one thing i know she is being my angel...the hug i always wants from my mom which i hesitate to take she gives me....there are so many scenes happened when i was broken she hugged me on the crowded streets and never think what will people say.... she excepted me with my failures and always soothes me towards the successful path.....

Piyusha my sister.....well frankly my sister will laugh on this if she reads this that i can write a blog including her too and she will say this too "beta hech kar tu!!!!!!jaa abhyas kar blog exam madhye nahi yet lihayala"....but because i never told her she is important for me too so i am mentioning here abt it.....we had fights like the junglee cats do we scold eachother fights with each other, back stabs each other in front of mom too....but in all this there is a hell transparent relation of us too....yeah we are completely opposite to each other in every way and looking at life and living it but our relation is so strong that it again comes on the proper track.....

my small 10 yr old brother nishad is like this too.....we fight we do everything but still are bestfriends......(not writing abt him much)

there are 2 people and my other friends are there worth mentioning here but for them there is next blog...to be continued........